What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
