Betty ford says i'm here all night
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
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I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
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I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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