what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
