Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
