we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
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My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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