Define "chronic" masturbator.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
