yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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