not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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