Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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