brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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