Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
