bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dick very happy bro
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
