Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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