I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
