We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
