Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
