508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
