You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
