i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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