i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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