I'm jealous of your bromance
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
