I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
