he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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