He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
