Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
