As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
