Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"

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(951): View more from California

So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

(909): View more from California

dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

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(779): View more from Illinois

explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?

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(214): View more from Texas

Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl

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(516): View more from New York

woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"

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