I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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