Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
