thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
