How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
