roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
