dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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