how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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