Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
