I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
