TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
