I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
