YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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