I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
