before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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