They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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