I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
