Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
