What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
