I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
