these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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