he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
