I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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