I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
