she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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