You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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