I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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