The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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