My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Boobs speak an international language.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
