I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
