I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
