Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
