Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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