therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
