It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize