i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
so much tequila, so little girl.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
