she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
how drunk are you?
Several
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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