After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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