Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
